This past weekend services Pastor Dan spoke about movement, that “movement should equal growth”. This brought a question: Did the children of Israel think of the movement they were going through as growth? From all the whining and complaining they did, I’d think not! Why couldn’t the children of Israel see this movement as growth? Was this fish and melon that good? How sweet was it really?
What makes us want to go backwards? Why can’t we just trust God’s leading? He gave the people a clear marker that he was there at all times, we may not have a clear marker that shadows our head, but we have something even better, the Holy Spirit who talks to us on a consistent basis, who guides us, if only we listen. We must choose to cooperate with what we hear, just as the Israelites had to choose to cooperate with their journey.
I’ve been on my own since age 11. Movement to me was change, and change meant growth. Growth WAS going to happen, because I never was going to be complacent in the stage of life I was at. I was going to make things change. As my life situations, places, and even the people in it has changed; I’ve grown into my own Canaan. Looking back, I remember several wilderness periods I’ve gone through. I learned to lean on God in a more intimate way. In the past, while in these wilderness periods; I told God, “I got this!” When the hard things came, “I only need you to help with his particular portion!” When it got really difficult I said, “You can have it, I need you to fix it, I’m done.” But this isn’t good, God wants us to give him ALL of it, EVERYTHING. Why is this so hard? Why can’t we give up the control and let him have it?
My life-changing plan (New Years Resolution) for 2010 was “Total Surrender”. I will tell you, God showed me so many things that I had a tight grip on it was frightening: my children, job, and finances, even my willingness to be healed in areas of my life. Even though I was cooperative, it didn’t feel good to go through that period. At one point I got extremely mad at God. I was mad at myself and then mad at God some more. I had to get over being mad at God and myself so I could move, so I could grow into the person he has called me to be. I wonder if this was the thought pattern of those two that made it into Canaan. Did they say, “This may be hard, but I have an end desire?”
Now, I am comfortable in his leading, I am in complete trust, there has not been a need that has gone unmet. There has not been a situation that has not had the hand of God written all over it. He has orchestrated events and situations that clearly have shown me the “cloud pillar” that’s over my head. I will still say I am not complacent because I believe if I become complacent then I have an opportunity to complain about what I should be doing or where I should be going. I just am now growing with God instead of on my own – God is fighting for me, I am not alone.
My friends; “Let Go and Let God”, He can do it far better than we can; and when he does he loves to show off, let him. Pastor Dan says “Favor Ain’t fair”. He loves to show us that he loves us and truly wants to take care of us. James 4:8 states, “Draw near to God and God will draw dear to you.” Yes, my friends, you have to take the first step. Draw near to him in your time of wilderness so that when you are not in your wilderness you can lean on him then as well. You can then, my friend, have the abundant life God said you are entitled to, just as the Israelites.
~Love and Blessings, Jennifer
